


Loose Lipped

by agoodpersonrose



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anesthesia, Canon Compliant, David Rose Loves Patrick Brewer, Dentists, Episode: s06e05 The Premiere, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wisdom Teeth, tooth extraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25036261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agoodpersonrose/pseuds/agoodpersonrose
Summary: A rewrite of 'The Premiere'. David gets his wisdom teeth removed, and secrets come out under the influence of anesthesia.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 24
Kudos: 295





	Loose Lipped

David is clearly in a sour mood, and Patrick has absolutely no idea why.

He had opened the store on his own this morning; David had the legitimate excuse of having a dentists appointment that he had to attend to, but his boyfriend had returned from Elmdale quiet and subdued, and after the third time he had snapped at a customer, Patrick had no choice but to send him into the back to calm down.

Food usually helps, so at lunch, Patrick makes sure to stock up on coffee for them both and bring back chocolate chip pancakes as a treat. When he returns, however, David seems even worse than before.

“I bought you coffee, and pancakes.” Patrick says, pushing the Styrofoam container across the counter in a placating gesture. David takes it, and flips it open sullenly, stabbing his fork into the food with unnecessary vigour.

“Thank you.” David says, his teeth clenched.

Patrick watches for a moment, until David looks up and pulls a sullen ‘what?’ expression, so he simply shrugs, and turns around on his heel to go back to restocking.

By the end of the day, it seems that David has finally done enough brooding, and has decided instead to enter the moping phase, which starts with him flopping against his boyfriend pathetically.

“You okay?” Patrick asks, as David drapes himself against his shoulders from behind with a dramatic sigh and clings on.

“I have to go back to the dentist.” David mumbles into his shoulder. “I have to have my wisdom teeth taken out.”

“Oh, David.”

Patrick spins around in his arms to return the hug, and David leans further into it, digging his head into Patrick’s neck and breathing in deeply through his nose.

“Will you come with me?” He asks.

“When is the appointment?”

“Friday afternoon. I know it’s during open hours and everything, but it was the only one they had available and I--”

“Of course I’ll come with you, David.”

David does his signature surprised but pleased smile and nods.

“Come on, let’s get you home.”

“Can I come back with you? I know I’ve kind of been a bitch today, but I promise I won’t be like that anymore, and I really don’t want to be around my family right now.”

Patrick snorts. “You say that as if your bad mood would phase me. Of course, you’re coming back with me, David. Come on.” He leads him towards the car by the hand and doesn’t let go for more than a few moments in the whole drive to the apartment.

***

“--and just a warning, when I get high, I get chatty, so don’t be surprised if you have to tape my mouth shut to get me to stop talking--”

“I think anaesthetic is a little different from recreational drugs, David. You don’t know what effect it will have.”

The expression on David’s face means he knows very well what effect it will have, but that’s a story for another time. Patrick just nods, rubbing a hand across his chin thoughtfully with the hand that isn’t on the steering wheel as they drive towards Elmdale.

“Anything else I need to know?”

“I don’t know about the medical side of things, but I just want you to know that if I get so insufferable that you have to break up with me, then please at least wait until the drugs have worn off?”

Patrick scoffs. “Not going to happen, David. You can take that scenario off your list.”

David smiles at him; that soft, tentative smile he does when he’s feeling really happy about something but doesn’t want to reveal himself.

“I think I’m nervous.” He says quietly, so quietly that it’s almost drowned out by the sound of the radio.

“It’ll be okay.” Patrick replies, looking sympathetically across the car as they pull up in the parking lot. “I’ll be just on the other side of the door the entire time, and I’ll be there when you wake up, and I’ll make sure I have all the information for afterwards.”

“I just think you should--”

“David.” Patrick interrupts him before whatever ridiculous thought he’s trying to voice can gain traction. “Will you let me handle this for you, please?”

“Okay.”

They book David in, and sit in the hard-plastic chairs in the waiting room. David is fidgeting, and he keeps squeezing on Patrick’s hand as if to remind himself that he’s here, but Patrick returns the gestures easily and offers his boyfriend small smiles in response.

Finally, a petite woman steps out from behind one of the doors with a clipboard in her hand.

“David Rose?” She asks.

He stands, and she heads over to him.

“Hi David. We just need you to fill this out before we get started. Who are you here with today?”

“Um, this is my boyfriend, Patrick.” David says, taking the clipboard from her and starting to scribble his details down in his neat, capitalised font.

“Hi Patrick. So, I assume you’ll be the one to look after David when he’s in recovery?”

“That’s correct.” Patrick says, returning the woman’s handshake easily.

“Wonderful. So, we’ll be taking David through in just a moment. The procedure can take anywhere from half an hour to an hour, depending on how long it takes for the drugs to set in. Now, we’ve already been made aware of your history, David, so although it’s not a requirement, it is preferred that you have someone else to take responsibility for administering your pain medication.”

“Mhm, Patrick can do it.” David says, his attention still drawn to the documents in front of him. “What’s that medicine that I’m allergic to?” He asks Patrick.

“You can’t have penicillin.” He replies easily. “That won’t be a problem, will it?”

“No- No, we won’t be using that today.”

“Okay, I think I’m done.” David says, finishing writing. Instead of handing the board back to the woman in front of them, he passes it to Patrick. “I don’t know your number off by heart, so I need you to write it in.”

“What for?”

“For my emergency contact and next-of-kin details. Just- there--” He points to the missing section without skipping a beat, and Patrick focuses on not letting his face betray the emotion he feels at knowing David had automatically put his details down in the box.

“Okay, that’s great, thank you.” The woman takes the documents from Patrick once he’s done, and David stands up, looking nervous again. “If you’ll just follow me, David. We’ll get you set up in Exam Room 3.”

“Oh, okay, just like that. Um--"

“Good luck baby. I’ll be on the other side of the door, you’ll be fine.” Patrick says, standing with him and kissing him quick, before waving him off to follow the woman.

David looks back hesitantly at his boyfriend, waving sadly one final time before steeling himself and following her.

Almost an hour later of Patrick scrolling Twitter and texting with his Mom, the Dental Assistant from before emerges from the door and waves Patrick over. He stands, frowning, as she pulls an apologetic face.

“Hi, you’re Patrick Brewer, right?” She asks.

“Yeah, is everything okay- is he almost done?”

“Yes, yep. The procedure went just fine. However, it seems that your boyfriend has had an adverse effect to the medication and we’re struggling to get him to talk to us, so we need you to be in the room whilst we give him his discharge information.”

“Oh, okay, sure. That’s fine.”

They enter the room to find David sat up on the dentist’s chair, his arms crossed against his chest, frowning and looking away from the dentist and two other assistants trying to talk to him.

“Hey David- How are you doing, baby?”

“You!” David says, his voice muffled by the gauze in his mouth and the swelling in his cheeks. “I- _You!_ It’s you! You’re--”

“--Patrick?” He offers his boyfriend his name with a sympathetic smile.

“ _Patrick!_ Yes. I knew that. Patrick, we need to leave now. Will you take me away?”

“Sure, baby. We just need to listen to the discharge information--”

“No! You’re one of them!” David reaches out to clutch at the front of Patrick’s shirt with an iron grip. “They _hurt_ me; they made my mouth hurt. That’s _your_ mouth. They ruined your mouth, Patrick. I’m never going to be able to use it again.”

Patrick has to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing, and moves further into David’s space, who immediately flops his head down onto Patrick’s chest with an exhausted sigh. “Well it seems to be working just fine now.” He teases, petting the hairs at the back of his neck and making David squirm.

“Mm, we should check- let me--” David reaches down for the fly on the front of Patrick’s jeans, who takes a step back, keeping his hands on David’s shoulders to keep him sitting upright.

“Okay, David. We’re in a room with lots of people. How about you rest your mouth, so that I know what to do with you when we get you home?”

The dentist and dental assistant run through all the information that Patrick needs to know, and after some convincing, Patrick manages to get David out of the room and into the parking lot.

“Om-Nom, Nom-Nom.” David mumbles happily, causing Patrick to stop in his steps.

“David, you need to stop chewing your gauze, otherwise your mouth won’t heal properly.”

David just glares at him under his expressive eyebrows, and slowly moves his jaw again in pointed resistance. Patrick gives him a stern look, but it just causes David to giggle, and continue chewing on the cotton pads.

“Om-Nom, Nom-- _No!”_ Patrick reaches out to stop him, but David dodges out of his way and sets off in a run across the parking lot. Patrick swears, momentarily thankful that his boyfriend does so little physical exercise. He catches up with him easily and wraps his arm around his waist from behind. “No!” David yells.

“Yes. Come on, David. Into the car.”

Patrick uses his grip on David’s hips to walk him towards his car, remaining behind him to steer him in the right direction. It’s successful for a moment, but as they approach the passenger side, David stills, and clumsily tries to grind his hips back against Patrick.

Patrick falters for only a moment from surprise more than anything, as David continues to push circles into his crotch with his ass. Then, he finds himself bursting out into laughter.

“David--”

“Let me make you feel good, Pat- _rick_!” He whines as Patrick uses his hands on his hips to still the movement. “What!” David yells petulantly.

“I’m sorry- David.” He laughs, “I just- this is very sweet of you, but you need to get in the car so I can take you home.”

“Homee.” David drawls, finally allowing Patrick to man-handle him into the front seat. “Hoome. _Pat_ -rick.”

Patrick just breaths a laugh, closing the door and rounding the car to his own side. When he clambers in, David has gone spacey again, and is swaying side-to-side in his seat.

“Ready to go, David?”

“Yes David.”

Patrick pulls a fond face. “You’re David. I’m Patrick.”

“Who is Patrick?” David asks. “Hey- Hey, you know who you look like?” He doesn’t wait for Patrick to reply, before leaning over the central console and grabbing his face. Patrick is momentarily thankful that he hasn’t started the car yet, as David’s fingers massage into his cheeks fondly. “You look like- like--”

“Do I look like Patrick?”

“How do you know Patrick?!” He says excitedly. “You know what we should do- We should all get together. You, and me, and Patrick. We should just do it- you know?”

“Do what, David?”

“Ooh, you’re a shy one, aren’t you?” David croons. “Don’t worry. Patrick was shy at first- when we first started--” He wriggles his eyebrows suggestively. “But he’s like, really good now. He’s really good. You wanna know why?”

“I don’t know if I do--”

“Because he loves me. And he loves making me feel good. He makes me feel so good. I want Patrick.” He frowns sadly to himself for a moment. “You know him, don’t you? Can you get him for me?”

Patrick grins, squeezing David’s knee for a moment before reaching back to put the car in reverse. “I’ll do you one better; I’ll take you to Patrick.”

David goes silent as they pull away from the Dentist’s office and back onto the road leading to Schitt’s Creek. It doesn’t last long, however, as soon enough, David is chatting again.

“Do you need the address?” He asks, almost sounding normal again.

“For what, David?”

“For Patrick!”

Nevermind, still high.

Patrick laughs slightly and shakes his head. “I think I’ve got it from here, David. You just rest.”

“ _You_ rest.” David says petulantly, crossing his arms. “You should rest. I don’t need to rest.”

There’s another beat of silence, the radio playing softly between them, before David bursts into speech again.

“Patrick?”

“Yes, dear?” He says, taking the opportunity to use the one term of endearment that David will not allow, even ironically.

“Why are you looking after me?”

Patrick sneaks a glance at David out of the corner of his eye, who is looking at him with a sad, wanting expression on his face.

“Why wouldn’t I be looking after you?”

“Because you’re Patrick. You work at the store. You helped me with my business licence.”

“I think we’re a little past that, David.”

David pulls a sad expression, made even softer by his swollen cheeks, and Patrick can’t help but look at him fondly.

“I never told you how much I wanted you.” He says, looking torn. “It’s very inprofessional. Profess-- Unprofessiomal. It’s very not good, Patrick. How much I want you.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because you’re my business partner! And you wear straight denim- straight- _blue._ You wear blue. You like baseball and spreadsheets. You don’t like me.”

“That’s not true, David. I like you very much.”

“Really?” He asks sadly.

“Mhm, and there’s nothing I like more than seeing you spread on my sheets.” He croons suggestively.

David gapes at him excitedly, flushed red. “ _Pat_ -rick!” He half-yells.

“Yes, baby?”

“You can’t _say_ that!” He groans, the way he does when he’s embarrassed.

“Why not, David. You are my boyfriend after all.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend, Patrick! People don’t want to be my boyfriend! I have a historical precenant- precedent.”

“I want to be your boyfriend, David. I love being your boyfriend.”

David hums half-heartedly in disbelief and looks out the window. Finally, they pull up at the apartment block. Patrick puts the car into park and turns to David.

“We’re home, David.”

“Mm, hoome Patrick!” David hums happily. “Can we go get pizza?”

Patrick says nothing as he climbs out of the car, coming around to help David out of the seatbelt, who leans on him heavily, talking straight into his ear.

“Pizza Patrick! I like pizza. I want pizza.”

“Okay, David. We can get pizza as soon as your mouth is better, how’s that?”

“Noo- Pizza! I want Patrick- I want pizza Patrick. Pizza and Patrick.”

It takes a long while to push David up the three flights of stairs, including one escape attempt, one attempt to fall asleep on Patrick’s shoulder whilst still stood up, and one attempt to go into an apartment that is not theirs.

“Who do you live here with?” David asks as they make their way into the apartment.

“Nobody, David. This is my apartment.” He replies, depositing him on the couch.

“But- But who is all this stuff? You have _two_ things- Are you dating someone, Patrick? You can tell me because we’re colleagues who are also friends.”

“David, honey--” He laughs softly, “I’m dating _you._ ”

David pulls a shocked face. “Do I live here? I wouldn’t decorate like this- I would have a Lucy Liu Unity Throw on the back of the couch- Have you seen those? They’re _very_ tasteful.”

“I know, David. You showed me when I moved in- and this isn’t yours yet, but you’re moving in in a couple of weeks.”

“Are you going to get the throw first?”

“Probably not, David, it costs like, a thousand dollars. But this blanket is from target if that helps?” Patrick offers, holding up the offending article with a teasing grin before taking it towards the bed and pulling back the covers ready for David.

“Ugh, _ew_ , I can’t believe I’m going to ask you to marry me.”

“Ha, sure, David.”

He carries on pulling down the comforter on the bed and fluffing up the cushions, before the statement finally dawns on him.

He freezes and turns towards David. “I’m sorry, you’re gonna do what now?” He asks, breathlessly.

“Mm- gonna ‘sk you to marry me.” David mumbles into the couch cushions, already half asleep. “Wanna be with you- f’rever and wanna be your husband.”

Patrick pushes his reaction down, and heads over to David. “Come on, baby, you can’t fall asleep here. Come over to the bed, let’s get you comfortable.”

“Will you stay with me? I’m scared you won’t be here when I wake up.”

Patrick pauses, looking at him sadly. “Why would you think that, David?”

“Because if I ask you t’marry me, and you say no, then I might not get to sleep next to you anymore.”

When he’s finally under the covers, Patrick pulls away to go around the bed.

“No! No, please don’t leave me.” David says as he straightens up. His voice is so desperate and scared that Patrick pauses.

“I’m just going around the bed, David.”

“No- Please don’t leave me- I don’t want you to leave me.”

Patrick sighs and kicks his shoes off before pulling his jeans and shirt off so that he’s left in his boxers and undershirt. “Okay, nudge over then.” He says, poking at David until he’s rolled far enough away so that Patrick can slip in on the wrong side under the cover. Once settled, he raises an arm to let David accommodate himself against his shoulder and strokes the back of his head gently. “Don’t get too comfortable, we’re going to have to get up in an hour to change your gauze.”

“You’re comfy-table. Happy you’re my bed, happy bed, love my bed.”

He hesitates for a moment before asking, scared to manipulate David’s weak state, but he can’t rest before he gets it out.

“When are you going to propose, David?” he asks quietly.

“Mm- I don’t know. The elf that gave me the ring said I shouldn’t propose on the Sabbath but there’s so many of those.” David grumbles almost incoherently into his shirt.

“Okay, David.” Patrick says with a laugh.

He lets David doze off against his chest, already starting to plan a hike in his head, and four golden rings.

**Author's Note:**

> This is another midnight fever dream but I hope you enjoyed! I love the episode, and I love drunk/high David and Patrick being fond so this is kind of a mix of everything.
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments and thank you as usual for reading!


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